The Final Yard

Trains used to frighten me when I was a kid. Yes I will deny it now, I mean I am going to be 22 next month. Whenever the engine used to come in, rumbling and growling, I used to hold my Mother's saree tightly, try to look away and act like a brave boy. Yet she used to sense it anyhow, her reassuring hands did some magic and the moment used to pass away.

I never planned today's little excursion to the railway station. A friend called, and said that PD "boss" was leaving (well that's what our campus lingo directs us to use for our seniors). PD boss was leaving and said if I could come to the station to see him off. I was a little apprehensive because I sensed something more than a just a see off. Yet I was there few minutes later, and so were my friends. PD boss was leaving for his home, completing his four year long B.Tech. as a graduate with a handsome job and a truck load of memories. Some chit-chat, some snacks and a few minutes later the train was ready to leave. PD boss had moist eyes, there were promises of keeping in touch. There were hugs all around, some final goodbyes and at the same time we were somehow trying to reassure ourselves that this time was still one year away from us.

A strange emotion was bubbling under my skin. I was wondering where did the last three years went by. It was all a blur, a subdued sensation that had a bitter-sweet taste. Was it the parking where we had those gossip sessions, or the canteen waiting for our orders. Or maybe Architecture block, which was the most visited premises, for obvious reasons. Those treats we had or the night long study sessions to survive semester after semester. I had a smile, which was half happy yet half sad. Somethings are beyond words, and some emotions are meant to stay in the heart. Some feelings are beyond description and I shall make no further attempts to explain my state of mind now. Why- because I can't.

Today after so many years I felt that fear once again, that same anxiety, I tried to look away but I wonder that can I really muster the same courage again, and act like a brave boy. There are somethings in life that cannot be turned back at any cost. What is gone is gone, its the past- and they call it so for a reason. Sooner or later me, you and everyone has to accept the reality. I have one year to go before I am standing on that same platform, bidding adieu to all and ending this trail. An ending- or a new beginning? I am drained of all discretion to even think about it tonight.

Bye.

From left to right: Dukki, Me, Reverse Byas, Dubey, PD Boss and Pragy